More news...

Thanks for hanging in there with me through my sparseness of entries. Life keeps taking twists and turns...

As you might have read in my last post, my parents' need for care has heightened in the past 6 weeks.

Two weeks ago my mother, with advanced Alzheimer's, fell while at my brother and sister-in-law's house where my parents are now living, and broke her wrist. She was hospitalized in the geriatric psychiatric unit and eventually placed in a wonderful Alzheimer's center while Medicare covers it for the next 100 days. My dad continues to go through his treatments and living at my brother's home.

While I have to work full time and keep my income and benefits going, I'm limited in daily concrete care, but try to help with service coordination and assisting with some respite. In the meantime, I'm supposed to be finding a house and planning a wedding. All this, while emotionally trying to cope with the inevitable decline of my parents.

Those of you who pray, please pray for God's grace on all of us. These kind of crises can stress family relationships even when all are well intended. Pray for God's protection from that. Also, pray for the well being of my parents...not to mention financial considerations regarding all decisions made in the future.

I did make a trip back to West Virginia over Memorial Day weekend to decorate my parents' parents graves on their behalf. I will share that with you when I download the pictures off of my camera.

I need to find my needle and stitch...but my heart is just too heavy.

Love to you all,

Life's Uncertainties

Well, my trip to Florida was cut short...

Ed and I were in Atlanta waiting for our connecting flight (which we never got to take until 2:30 am) into Tampa, and I received a call that my dad had received an outpatient CT scan (he left my mom with Alzheimer's at home alone)...and they would not release him. The hospital had him in the ER to be admitted. I flew home after talking to him on the phone...he had gotten very sick from the pressure of a brain tumor that was 6 x 7 cm in the left hemisphere at the frontal temporal junction, was throwing up with slurring speech. Monday morning he had surgery and was diagnosed with gliobastoma multiforme (Grade IV) and with resection, radiation, and chemotherapy the average survival is 14-15 months.


In the meantime, my mom is staying with my brother and sister-in-law and is good during the daytime but sundowns terribly . I set an appointment for her at the Center for Senior Health at Summa Health System (she was diagnosed with her Alzheimer's there...but did not pursue treatment there). Her medication management has been with her primary care physician and he has been doing as well as he can but this is beyond his scope of practice and she needs a specialist. My dad has been in the driver's seat with my mom, but now my brother, sister-in-law, and myself have consensus to get her treated by a geriatric specialist with expertise in Alzheimer's. It's been particularly difficult the Alzheimer's in and of itself because it seemed so unfair that I had to watch autism swallow up Caleb and now have Alzheimer's rob me of my mother. NOW, she is agitated, aggressive, obstinant, uncooperative (how Caleb was) and will be on similar medications that he is on.

I have been with my dad tonight and I don't think he realizes that he was sick just prior to surgery when the tumor pressure and edema was causing him vomiting in the hospital...plus his speech was slurring. I'm not sure he realizes he consented to the surgery and the seriousness of his condition and that it is terminal. I do not doubt that he has been told all of this by my brother.

*sigh* It is all so terribly sad and I have not let the dam break yet with tears. I'm in shock, actually. My dad is not been sick at all...healthy most of his life. He is now in rehab and is having to learn to walk and has problems saying what he is thinking (e.g. called a grilled cheese sandwich a cottage cheese sandwich). His anhedonia is so apparent, as is his flat affect. He does not engage in anything. I asked for a psych consult to look for depression. Also my dad thinks he is supposed to know where to go for all his therapies and what to do in the morning...he has never been dependent ever as an adult. Of course, I know the hospital staff is responsible for all that and talked to the nurse on duty to give her insight on how he is thinking.

I have no idea how to plan a wedding through all of this, but I don't have to do any of that today.

Please keep me in your prayers...I'm on call for the hospital overnight...hopefully it will be quiet.


Despite all of this, I know God's eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me!

Much love,

Shifting my Focus

It is a few days past Ash Wednesday, but I feel drawn to forego many of my online activities until after Easter to focus on more time with my Savior. In light of that, I will not be posting any more entries on my blog until after Easter, probably not before I return from Florida on the 19th.

I would challenge many of you to take some time off from the virtual world and turn your eyes on to those things that really matter.



I can still be reached by email at ohiodarlin@sbcglobal.net otherwise, I will see you in April. Have a blessed and meaningful Easter.

In His Love,

More Reflections...and a Song!!!!

The Snowy Owl continues to be seen at Burke Lakefront Airport in Cleveland, right on Lake Erie. These Arctic friends fly south in the hardest part of the arctic circle winters and occasionally make it to northern Ohio. Seeing one is always a real treat! Without a spotting scope, they can be mistaken as a white plastic grocery bag in the middle of a field.

On another note, however, Lynn Ambrosia wrote on her blog about "Blogging without Obligation." I have read posts from others who have not posted in a while...maybe actually living got in the way...and then there's a huge apology from the blogger for not posting. I have to think about life in the 21st century and the many demands we have on each and every one of us. Sometimes I feel like my whole life is a "have to" at times. I have yet to file my taxes and select my benefit pack for the job I started on February 2. I have to do the cat litter, work out, take a shower, babysit my grandson, do some dusting, check on my autistic son at the group home, get an oil change...and on and on and on it seems to go.

Sherry has two words on her blog header: "Inhale Life." In my work I am faced with life and death situations. I see children and families who have a perspective of life that would put the rest of us to shame...it is a gift!!!! Every experience should be savored.

So...all that to say that when I blog, it is not out of obligation or duty, but a personal need to express myself, delight in the life I have been given, and connect with others who may be likeminded. Life is not a competition...and neither is a blog. I will not make it so. My blog is not an entity unto itself, but a little window cracked open to share that which is meaningful to me...

Now...put on a happy CD and crank it up and dance as if no one is watching and celebrate just being alive...what song would you choose???? I want to hear from you.

Here's mine (feet don't fail me now!!!!):



Or...go outside a find a feathered friend, breathe deeply, and take a moment to see how much good there is just to be!!!!

Until next time,

Taking to Time to Reflect...

At work, three little ones made their way to heaven this week...two were little babies. This was only my second week on my new job. I was told things were more intense than normal. Regardless, I need to take some time to pause and reflect and praise God for gift of all life. They say if you know how to die, you will know how to live.

This morning I read a passage by C. S. Lewis written on the last page of the Chronicles of Narnia:

"For us this is the end of all stories...But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story, which no one on earth has read, which goes on forever and in which every chapter is better than one before."

I am reminded of the verse in Isaiah 44:2a, "I am your Creator. You were in my care before you were born." I am so grateful for the hope of eternity. When you live in the light of eternity, your values change. May I live in light of not that which is temporary, but what is eternal; not in what is seen, but is unseen.

In His love,

First Post for February

Not much progress on PS Christmas Village since my last post, but I started my new, exciting, exhausting, amazing job at the hospital, so my stitching will take at least the passenger seat (versus the back seat) for now. But I've gotten some deer in there in field and a few of the pine trees for the forest (pictures later).

I thought I would show you the other UFOs to turn into WIPs in coming days...plus some interruptions that will come from other demands. For example, I will be going through my stash to find a suitable small project for my"Secret Buddy" at work that I'll need to have by the end of February...(stay tuned...I'll tell you what I pick!) ;)

Christian's Stocking by Shepherd's Bush

18 count natural linen

DMC, 6 strands

This is being stitched for my grandson, Elijah (just turned 1!) hopefully for the next Christmas (wish me luck!!!). I started before I had grandchildren so hopefully I can get it completed before he graduates from college. Below is the one I have started for my other grandson, Noah (3 years old).

Harry's Stocking by Shepher's Bush

18 count natural linen

DMC Perl Cotton

And speaking of the little goobers, here they are with mom:

This old UFO is from an April 1997 Crosstitch & Needlework magazine (does that make it 12 years old??). It's 3/4 done and it surely deserves to be finished this year.

Beauty of the House

28 count antique white Lugana

DMC threads

This sampler was begun over six years ago and I have always loved it. I'm moving this from the UFO to WIP category.

Prairie Schooler Garden Sampler

28 count new khaki Lugana

DMC threads

The picture below is an afghan/throw that uses the out of print Prairie Schooler Prairie Lodge, which I started nine years ago. Okay, one excuse for not having it finished: It's hot to work on in warm weather. Doesn't fly does it? Okay, no excuse!

Prairie Schooler Prairie Lodge
18 count Proud Pine panels
Six strand DMC threads

This is a wedding sampler that I started and will be for me and my honey Ed. You can't see the colors very well but it is not white, but GAST Apricot Blush. The verse comes from Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, "Two are stronger thane one, for if one falls, the other will lift him up again."

Wedding Sampler from Marriage Keepsakes by Leisure Arts

28 count coffee linen

Gentle Art Sampler Threads Apricot Blush

I have two other pieces are both on 10 count heatherfield, natural and hickory colors. I was making them both for seasonal pillows for my living room. The first picture is the daffodils from Prairie School Prairie Garden and the second is the cardinal from Prairie Schooler's Birds and Berrries.


That's enough for now...don'tcha think? I have a few more antique/primitive sampler UFOs that I will put into the mix but I'll save that for another post.

Until later,

Porn for Women...

Well, it does exist...and this is the cover of the book...around $12.99 at Borders...good lookin' guys doing domestic duties and other things guys never do...BUT they omitted putting in this page...

HEY, THAT'S MR. ED...cleaning the lamp on my ceiling fan in the loft, no less...

Okay, I gotta take a COLD shower...

Until later,

Prairie Schooler Christmas Village SAL progress

Now, honestly, is there any more welcoming environment to make one want to snuggle up in sweats and a hoodie and hot coffee and warm socks to go no where and work on stitching??????

Although, Mr. Ed and Bruno seem to enjoy the snowy outdoors...

As for me, I stayed in...working on my PS Christmas Village SAL from my Yahoo Group Prairie Schooler Fans bunch. I have pulled out quite a few UFOs I'm turning into WIPs this year, which I will post later. But I'm enjoying my Christmas Village right now and will probably rotate to my UFOs when I get bored (or feel guilty!!!).

Until later,

CHALLENGE TO YOU - Random 25 Share

Today we are hammered with over a foot of snow on top of what we already had and came up with a list of just 25 random things to share. I want to challenge my fellow readers to take the time to do this, possibly put it on your blog or in my comments. It helps us know each other better...you also learn more about yourself!

1. I am wondering today how the birds are faring with all this snow interfering with their food supply. I will check on them tomorrow.

2. God has been so good to me; I am blessed. His compassions fail not!

3. I only went to one Ellet High School class reunion (20 year) and was disappointed.

4. I have never gone to any MVNC reunions and think I should!!!!!

5. I have received appointments from Governors Voinovich, Taft, and Strickland to assist with public policy decisions impacting children and adults with developmental disabilities (and their families) in Ohio.

6. I am greatly concerned about the direction of our country.

7. I had mixed feelings packing up my office yesterday to start a new exciting job.

8. I was wondering when the last time was that I ate snow.

9. I would like to spend more time participating in the contemplative life (see Richard Foster, Brennan Manning, et. al.) but can anyone ever get enough time...the more you spend, the more you want.

10. I can't believe God brought a man into my life from six hours away.

11. I continue to be frustrated trying to find a local church to land in where I can worship and fellowship with others in the Body. I love the freedom of the Nazarene church, but most are small and I CRAVE expository preaching. (But as someone whose spiritual temperament leans toward naturalist and ascetic (see Gary Thomas' Sacred Pathways), I'm not surprised by this challenge.)

12. I love old cemeteries.

13. I'm hoping to sight a redpoll and some white-winged crossbills by the end of this week.

14. I NEVER thought I'd STILL be living in Ohio.

15. If I could live anywhere, it would be Pocahontas County, West Virginia...or Colorado Springs, Colorado.

16. I plan to honeymoon in Maine.

17. I struggle with anxiety -- often waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop.

18. One of my greatest times of professional growth was working wtih children and families in the deep inner city of Cleveland.

19. My new job is the fulfillment of a calling working with children (and their families) with life-limiting or at risk of death due to chronic illness or disabilities.

20. I am so glad God loves us Ragamuffins!

21. I have a strong aversion to eating fruit.

22. I am a die-hard West Virginia University Mountaineer fan...(Go 'eers)

23. I wonder when I'll have to start coloring my hair.

24. I detest anyone who is so quick to judge others.

25. I fear I may never be able to retire.

Until later,

Lookie what I got!!!!!!

Whilst pondering what threads to use for my Monsterbubbles Mele Kalikimaka ornament, I dug out my few skeins of Needle Necessities floss. I was still not happy with a choice for the ocean...so I let my fingers do the shopping on eBay and found all sorts of Needle Necessities skeins on sale. (Needle Necessities is no longer in business.) Forget bidding...I did a bunch of "Buy it Now" purchases! Aren't they beautiful.


Additionally, last night I started on my Christmas Village SAL through the Prairie Schooler Fans yahoo group. I'm so glad this picture did capture the diamonds in the fabric...like diamonds in the snow.



Keep stitching!

Until later,

A Very Happy Birthday to Me...

This is late as my birthday has kept me sooooooo busy...

Saturday morning, Mr. Ed (my "fiasco") presented me with a French Toast with sides of powdered sugar, whipped cream, and maple syrup...with coffee and a rose and baby's breath.

Then Mr. Ed and Bruno brought me in a basket of goodies...

In the basket were two dozen beautiful multi-colored roses, a stuffed Boxer that plays kids singing, "How much is that doggie in the window..." when you squeeze his foot, a beautiful B Makowsky Belfast Tote pictured here, a beautiful crimson scrapbook to be filled with "our story," and a $100 gift certificate to get me started with basic scrapbook items from Creative Memories (my friend Pamela is a consultant).

Then Mr. Ed and I went shopping for our first joint purchase... a Nikon D90 SLR with the additional 15-180 mm zoom lens. We also bought some filters including a diffusion filter which HIDES WRINKLES when taking portrait shots. Now THAT'S the way to celebrate a birthday!!!

Now Ashton Kutcher did not come with the camera...but here he is with it from his commercials. (Actually his is only a D60).

Then Sunday morning we met some of the D Girls and some spouses for breakfast. My friend Jeannie's birthday was Monday, the 19th, and mind was Saturday, the 17th.

One of the D Girls, Chris, gave me some homemade honey and homemade candles made from her boyfriend, Doug's, bees (the honey and the wax). How cool is THAT? Pamela gave me a bunch of balloons tied to a bottle of spring water.

And here we are...the birthday girls...me on the left, and Jeannie!!!

And here's the group:

Denise, Ed, Jeannie, Chris, Tom, Peggy, Pamela, and Gordon...

All this and having Monday off too...woohoo!!!!

Until later,

Denise

Random Winter Bird Sights Today

Despite the cold and subzero temperatures, I can still delight myself when I catch one of my feathered friends braving the elements. Every morning when I go to the car, before I see them on the ground, these inverted oreo cookies fly up into the trees. They are really Dark Eyed Juncos. These sparrow-sized winter visitors to Ohio that can breed as far north as the artic in warmer weather. In some parts of the United States they are seen year round but not in Ohio.

They are easily recognized when they fly due to their tails...which fan out behind them as they hustle to the trees when aware of passers by. You can see how they can look like inverted oreo cookies, with the middle being black instead of white.

Here they are in action (I could not get this embedded so I linked it instead)...Cute aren't they???

On my way into work, I saw one Cooper's Hawk flying across a residential area near my place and then another one over by Akron Fulton International Airport heading into a residential section. With the cold and all the snow, they seem to be out and about making beelines to the drive thru's at the fast food establishments...that is, bird feeders!!!!

Until later,

Denise

Inspiration and a Gift

After reading Michelle's blog today, I got inspired to check out also doing Monsterbubbles Mele Kalikimaka from the 2004 JCS Ornament issue. Ed and I will be visiting his sister and family in Florida and I thought I could do this up as a thank you gift for having us. Instead of using the silk threads, I combined some Needle Necessities I have on hand and then braved cold and accumulating snow to my LNS (I think they were shocked someone came to the store in all this weather) and chose some Weeks Dye Works threads that would be complementary. What do you think?

The trickiest color was for the sun...how bright did I want to go. Most colors are subdued and in cool shades.

For fabric, it calls for 32 count over one...zoinks!!! I have decided on doing it over two, or switching it to 28 count over one. The latter is better for an ornament but if I decide on the former, I will make it into a flatfold.

And, shoot, I was going to work on my Christmas Village SAL...so many projects, so little time!!

My DH2B, Ed, bought me a sweet gift celebrating my new job. He knows my love for birding and bought me a plush Audobon Nighthawk that makes an actual call when you squeeze it. I used to talk to him at night in the summer from my bedroom and told him I could hear the nighthawks. With him in Pennsylvania, he had wanted to be able to see one with me sometime...THIS summer!

The lovely card had six species of Owls...and the plaque reads, "Grow old with me, the best is yet to be."

Ain't he just the berries???

Ooops...wrong picture (that's me when I first get up and haven't waxed)...

Here he is ....

HOT CHA CHA!!!!!

Is it hot in here?

Til next time,

Denise

A Calling...A New Opportunity

Last week I found out that God indeed gave me the job I never dreamed I'd have...His faithfulness never ceases to amaze me. Jeremiah 29:11 is so true, even when it seems contrary to what appears to be going on in my life:

I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

Jeremiah 29:11 (MSG)

A quote on my desk reads as follows:

Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons!

I have to admit that some gifts at the time looked like disappointments and let downs...like I pulled the short stick or got the booby prize. Things did not work out how I planned or hoped. And yet, when I give God time, He brings clarity...but He wants me to trust regardless. Those "missed" opportunities are just counterfeits of what is God's best...and now I see why some opportunities did not materialize. If they had, I would not have been available for what God had in mind for me! Today it is this job.

I received a call to provide social work services, both clinical and case management, at Akron Children's Hospital working in their Haslinger Family Pediatric Palliative Care Center, a nationally renowned center of excellence in this field. To quote the website,

The Haslinger Family Pediatric Palliative Care Center at Akron Children's Hospital aims to enhance the quality of life and minimize suffering for children and teens with life-threatening illnesses and their families. Akron Children's pediatric palliative care team works not only with children who are dying, but also with those who are battling any life-threatening medical condition. They become involved with the family's primary care doctors at the beginning of the child's life-threatening diagnosis and continue through cure or until the time of death and bereavement.

In 2006, I interned with this Unit. It is very spiritual and soul work. I was forever changed and felt pulled/called into this area. Two Sundays ago, at Wooster Church of the Nazarene in Ohio, I was singing during worship and there was a line in a praise song that rang, "Suffering children are safe in the arms of Jesus." The truth of that statement is how I am drawn into this work. And I teared up, feeling confirmation that I would get this job offer.

On New Year's Day, when many people are nursing hangovers, I was captivated by Angie Smith's blog, Bring the Rain. I was riveted by the amazing transparency of this women who knew she would lose her Audrey Caroline...her infant daughter that would be born April 7. This transparency that would allow us to see what an intimate, gracious, loving Savior who IS THERE in our time of need, who wipes our tears, and is not indifferent to our pain but walks the road with us...is the road beneath our feet. This is a glimpse of part of the world of my work...and calling. I am so honored and humbled.

Watch the video from Angie's blog at the end of her January 9th post. (Mute the music at the bottom before pressing play.) It that says more than anything I could contribute here...if so moved, it would not be a single waste of time to read her entire posts. The link for her "Bring the Rain" blog is on my side bar.

Thank you for sharing my news and my joy...to God be the glory!

Until next time,
Denise

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT -- STAY TUNED!!!

If you were sitting with me while I have my morning cup of coffee today, I could tell you my wonderful news privately...but since that is not the case, my news will have to wait until I can announce it publicy, which should be no later than this evening. Oh how I wish you were joining me this morning...with perhaps a bagel or croissant...and friendship. But until then, my news will have to wait until tonight!!


See you then,
Denise

New Year S.E.X. (Stash Enhancement Experience)

In late 2008, I returned to stitching...and joined Prairie Schooler yahoo group...and my S.E.X. (Stash Enhancement eXperience) opportunities have skyrocketed. As you can see, I have become a regular frequenter of eBay of late. I thought I had quite a few Prairie Schooler charts...but NOW LOOK WHAT I'VE ADDED...


I HAVE managed to avoid some of the more pricey auctions (some OOP charts going over $50-75 a piece) and have gotten some of the same items at a lower price. Patience is a virtue.

I also purchased "Always and Forever" by Little House Needleworks from eBay (the seller is "bubbacandance" whose ebay store is Stitcher Xpress ). She runs this so she can stay home with her little boy. In addition to the chart, she sent me a Limited Edition of Gentle Arts Sampler Thread color called Embers and Ashes as a gift. What a special surprise. I also purchased Coffee Menu and A Spot of Coffee from a fellow PS yahoo group member who was wanting to declutter. Stash, stash, and more stash!!!

Lastly, on eBay, I purchased a beautiful 18" x 27" piece of 28 count white opalescent Lugana for my PS Christmas Village SAL that you will be seeing as I stitch it in throughout the year. It will hang in our home next Christmas.

Still more posting to come...definitely MORE exciting news. Film at 11!

Until then,
Denise

PS: I'm having problems getting all my pictures focused properly of late...this is a new problem for me...might need glasses, ya think??? Bear with me!

Queen for a Day

Well, here I am today with Sir Edward (my "fiasco" ) tending to my needs. I went to bed last night EARLY (which I never do) all achey and congested...and this morning could not even get to the shower...my head felt like it had been placed in Uncle Fester's head crusher...aiyiyi!!!

The only positive thing about getting sick is having Sir Edward treat me like Queen for a Day...

Many of you may be too young to remember that show from the late 50's/early 60's...I'm ALMOST too young for that except for my inpeccable memory from things at a young age. So here is a sample of the show. This is the part where the audience applause decides which of the women who have told their sob story will be made "Queen for a Day." It is so wrong on so many levels! Check out these gifts!!!!!




Anyway, here's to a pleasant evening and a better tomorrow! Much more to post...but it will have to wait until later.



Until then,

Denise

Surprise Eastern Towhee Sighting

I have not posted much regarding my love for feathered friends and birding, but this activity is the result of God using birds a variety of times to speak to me in very specific ways. In my vocation, and in the middle of all the distractions everyone has in life, a reprieve by the "never ending 'Easter egg' hunt" of birding is one of my favorite ways to clear my mind and exercise self-care, not to mention enjoying time with my Creator and taking the time to thank Him for the daily miracles we overlook in creation.

Yesterday, after church, I took a quick jaunt in my car to Silver Springs Metro Park in Summit County, Ohio and sighted an Eastern Towhee foraging in the leaves. While normally not an unusual sighting in the warmer months, this was my first ever sighting of this friend in January, which in Northeast Ohio is rare.

This has inspired me to focus more on my birding in this Winter of 2009, as I purchased a heavy down coat, wool socks for my boots, some gators, and great gloves to start spending hours in the cold to hunt down some of our winter visitors. A long-eared owl is definitely on my winter wish list!

While this is not the actual bird, it very much appeared as this photograph that appeared on the campus of Rutgers University Camden Campus.

Thank you for checking me out today!

Until later,

Denise